The other day I received a letter from a former student,
apologizing for her behavior in a 9th grade class – one that was pretty raucous
most days. I was grateful to hear from her and was pleased that she was serving
a mission in a foreign country. She asked if I remembered her (yes, very distinctly) and wondered if I could forgive her (of course, I was 14 yrs. old once) for the way she acted in
class so many years ago. It was a nice letter and it was easy to accept her
plea and acknowledge her change in attitude.
I never disliked
this young lady or any of the classmates that attended with her. By that time
in my career I had stopped worrying about whether students liked me and was
more focused on helping them get through the struggles of youth while trying to
share a large dose of Jesus and His Atonement. To see this girl (and many others) make decisions based on their testimony of Christ is still the
greatest pay for someone in my profession.
Teaching the gospel in a worldly environment is challenging
under the best circumstances. Seldom do we get any support from the ‘school’,
even when the majority hold the same values.
It’s not because they don’t want to be part, but it is a
symptom of the world we live in today. Everyone is terrified of showing any
religious inclinations for fear they will be removed from their positions or
fired for “teaching/supporting religion.”
But with the loss of religious and moral principles in the
schools, we have also had a loss in the basic goodness of society. The fear of
retribution dampens the desire to teach appropriate conduct until we reach the point
where any behavior is tolerated (look at college campuses for proof).
In some ways, the current ‘debate’ about respecting the Flag
and National Anthem can find its origins in what is and isn’t taught in schools
(and churches to some extent). Most schools don’t
recite the Pledge of Allegiance on a regular basis and I suspect that a goodly
number of our students don’t know the words to the National Anthem. The proper
care and display of the flag isn’t even discussed, except in some Scouting
programs (witness the flying of flags at half-mast and how it is done
incorrectly).
When there is no knowledge for WHY something is done,
there is no respect WHEN it is done.
The fear of offending AND the desire to be offended are
creating a world where people feel the need to look over their shoulders whenever
they are doing something that is, in any way, public.
I think the prophet Isaiah was speaking of this issue when
he taught that in the last-days there would be many who:
… make a man an offender for a
word, [laying] a snare for him that reproveth in the gate, and turn aside the
just for a thing of naught. Isiah 29:21
Pointing out offense is easy. Learning to forgive and help
others avoid real offensive behavior requires love – for the offender and the
offended.
Imagine if Jesus had taken the words of the Pharisees and Sadducees
personally (which was the way they were given) and used his
unique abilities to strike back. Rather, He bore their behavior with humility
and love and stayed focused on the task at hand. He could see the bigger
picture and did not let the little things of life get in the way.
So how does that relate to the present circumstance?
People who want to find offense in their lives are going to
find offense. Very little that we say will change their desire to be offended (and offense is a desire). But YOUR being offended does not
mean that I must refrain from something that is dear to me. And if my actions
are hard for you to understand, please let me know so I can explain my purpose.
(note: I didn’t say so I would change, but I would explain).
So, when a bunch of rich kids who play games for a living
decide they are too ‘cool’ to do something, I really don’t care.
Yes, it is hurts my heart to hear of it and I wish they
wouldn’t do it. But, it isn’t something that is going to change me or my family
and I see no need to be incensed?
Truthfully, their behavior has no bearing on my experiences
in life and I suspect they will lose the desire to stand out as soon as people
quit talking about it. I guess you might say I have a “laissez-faire” attitude
towards things like this. Especially when they have no real bearing on anything
of substance. These are just little children trying to get attention – and it’s
working.
On the other hand,
there are some folks who are clamoring for changes that I DO believe should be resisted.
One current trend is calling out speakers/believers for ‘hate speech.’ In general,
hate speech seems to be anything one body of believers (often loosely defined) finds offensive to their own ideas
or practices. Somehow this term has become the rage for shutting down unwanted messages
that disagree with another set of beliefs.
For example, if I am a dog lover and profess my love for the
canine faction on earth, some other group will try to accuse me of ‘hate-speech’
because they think felines are better and my admiration for dogs must mean I
HATE cats. In their mind, I must be stopped from ‘hate-speech’ against cats!!
The concept that a different ideology equates to hate is
ridiculous. When did it become hateful to disagree with another opinion? I am a
member of many organizations (official and unofficial) that have a wide variety of
opinions and beliefs. But my membership in those groups does not mean I hate,
or even dislike those in competing/contrasting organizations.
My heavens!! There is nothing wrong with having contrasting
points of view. I recall that Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill were on opposite
sides of the political spectrum, yet they were amiable and friendly – so much
so that they enjoyed having dinner together quite often.
Why does EVERYTHING need to be polarizing?
Who says it’s impossible for members of different religious
parties to be friendly to one another?
What rule says that graduates from rival schools cannot be
civil in their discourse?
Why can’t dog and cat lovers sit down and share a meal
together?
What has happened to this world?
Have we ALL forgotten that we are children of the same God?
Maybe that IS the problem.
Each person has their own God (whether they be
Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, or whatever) but many have
become intolerant of the individual right to choose and live in peace with
their own creed.
For instance!
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints (Mormon). My faith is dear to me and I desire to
protect the right of my children and grand-children to practice what I believe are
the doctrines of Christ.
One of the truths we follow pertains to marriage as an
eternal ordinance when bound by the authority of the priesthood of God. Sacred
temples are built around the world where faithful members can kneel across an
altar with their husband or wife and participate in a holy event that seals
them as a couple for all time and eternity. This is a satisfying doctrine of
the gospel of Christ as we practice our faith. I do not expect everyone to
appreciate what we do but I hope that no one will decide that our practices are
an indication of something not
part of the experience.
What is not part of our marriage rights is any statement
pertaining to the practices of others of faith.
Mormons are not saying to the
rest of the world that temple marriages are more valid than those of non-Latter-day
Saints. We readily acknowledge that husbands and wives who love each other and
are faithful to their marriage vows will find great joy together. The children of
these unions are blessed by the love they receive from their parents.
But, there is one difference between these types of marriage
– we have confidence that the vows we make do not end when “death does us part.”
Our faith extends through the eternal realms and promises that those who are
faithful to their covenants (to God and spouse) will continue to enjoy the
bliss of marriage in the next world.
We welcome any who wish to enjoy this same experience to
prepare and receive as we have.
Our doctrine is not
hateful.
Teaching the doctrines of the Latter-day Saints is not ‘hate-speech.’
We do not look down on, mock, hate, belittle, or exclude
others as though we stood on a lofty tower. Neither do we cast stones or
aspersions toward those who do not believe as we do. We simply believe differently
than others of faith and are careful to not defy God in our practices.
Latter-day Saints believe in the eternal nature of family –
both the nuclear type and the world-wide version. Every person on this earth is
a son or daughter of a God who loves them and wants them to be happy. Mortal death
is not the dissolution of family experiences, it is a step in the eternal
continuation of those relationships.
So, when disbelievers chant that Mormons are dividers and
haters because they perform marriages in sacred temples, they show a complete
disregard for the rights of the faithful to practice their religion.
In reality, the doctrines of the Church of Jesus of Christ
of Latter-day Saints are (though many will scream otherwise)
very inclusive. There is hope in
the gospel, as taught by the LDS Church, for all who come to this ball of dirt
to experience mortality. Any who desire to live with God are qualified to join
and partake of His blessings.
So back to the original premise:
Being offended is a choice!!
Finding offense where none is intended is a choice!!
Looking for ways to be offended and then claiming that
offense is ‘hate-speech’ is to destroy all freedom in a land where freedom is
key.
Trying to control dialogue by shaming and propaganda (claiming disagreement is hateful) is the beginning of the end
of free speech. The end of free speech is the doctrine of the adversary and
will destroy many other freedoms as it spreads.
