I have never
been one to “stew” about things or let my mind focus too much on bad events in
life.
Oh, I was
pretty upset with my parents when they divorced (I was six). It took a little
while for me to settle down but generally I think I have learned to move on
from negative experiences without too much angst.
Maybe that’s
why it is difficult to understand why people keep regurgitating offenses from
the past like they are a kind of badge of honor to be flaunted in the face of
others. Oftentimes, it seems like they are trying to use the “offense” as a
means of validating their lives instead of moving forward to new adventures.
To constantly
review past offenses is painful!
It takes
away from future happiness and seldom results in anything uplifting.
I mention
this because of the incident, a few weeks ago, where a little girl shared her ‘testimony’
in church and was shut-down by the Bishop of her ward.
Disclaimer: As a life-long member of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there has never been a time when a member
of any congregation I have attended has been asked to stop and sit down. There have
been times when I wish it had
happened!! But I have never actually witnessed the experience.
So, what
would inspire the Bishop of that ward to stop the expression of testimony from
that little girl? Is he a bigot and
hateful to those who claim to be different?
NO!!
The problem
wasn’t the little girl. The issue was the people who were sitting in the
congregation, filming the whole event for posting on the Internet. They had an
agenda and the little girl was simply a pawn in their scheme. I wonder, truth be known, if a 12-year-old
little girl can really have such a deep conviction about her sexual orientation
without help from someone who should know better. Regardless, the “set-up” nature of the
experience puts it in a bad light.
You see,
testimony meeting is a time to share what we believe about the gospel of
Christ. It is set aside, once a month, to allow faithful, struggling, and not
so faithful members to stand up in front of their friends and neighbors to
express their feelings about the teachings of Christ. Members are encouraged to
speak from the heart and witness the truths they have learned about the
doctrines and teachings of Christ in their personal mortal experience. They are
given full sway to say whatever comes to their heart pertaining to things they
have experienced and believe regarding their membership in God’s kingdom.
What testimony
meeting IS NOT is a time to pontificate (though some do that every week), tell stories (yes we
get that also), or to
expound on doctrinal issues (we also get that from time-to-time).
BUT, most
especially, it is NOT a time to try to share false doctrine.
Some of the
messages members share can push the limits of the guidelines and the Bishop has
to gauge whether to intervene or not. But there is (at least) one area where those who conduct the
meetings cannot remain seated.
When a
member, old or young, begins to profess as truth things that are considered
false doctrine in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints action must
be taken. The tender testimonies of the members in the congregation are much
too sacred to allow someone who is trying to lead others away to continue in
their process.
I am
confident that there will be few who witnessed this event who will hold the
young lady totally responsible for her presentation. She has reached the age of
accountability but the influence of her mother (as reported by many
sources) was the main
motivation for her ‘testimony’ experience.
What does
her mother seek to gain? I can only
guess.
According to
reliable reports, Two years ago this mother was relieved of her membership in
the Church for practices or beliefs that violated her covenants as a member. Not
being privy to the details, I can only guess that her experiences in the Church
became a “burr in the saddle” of her journey through mortality and she
concocted this plan to embarrass the Church.
Which brings
me back to my opening gambit.
Why is it
that people can’t let go of hurt or perceived injustices they have in their
lives?
In much of
society, there seems to be a need to “get even” with those who have
offended.
But what
positive does it do for the offended, their families, and loved ones when they
exact their payment? Is the doctrine of
the Church going to lose truth because of the drama?
Wouldn’t it
be much simpler to move on and adjust to the new norm in life?
From personal
experience, I can validate the benefits of giving up fretting about things over
which I have little or no control. The need to ‘get even’ has never made me
happier. Forgiving and moving on has ALWAYS resulted in a more comfortable
experience. I think Jesus had something
going when He counseled us to forgive all, no matter what offense had been
given.
I feel bad
for those who can’t forgive.
The Savior
said:
Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye
ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his
trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the
greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive
whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
(D&C 63:9-10)
Reality is
that none of us know enough to NOT forgive. We cannot make the judgment
necessary to determine if someone is worthy of forgiveness. Only Christ, who
has suffered for all we do, has that right and the ability.
So, in that
vein, I forgive the mother (and others) who used the little girl to further their own purposes. I hope
she can find some peace in her heart so she can let go of the ill-will she has
towards the members and leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints. And I hope there comes a day when she can see that her actions hurt no
one but herself in the eternal scheme of things.
And I hope
for the same when it comes to the judgment of others I have offended.
