MUTANTS RISE UP

The other night Teresa and Joel watched one of the X-Men movies – I think it was called the Last Stand.  In it, a scientist had developed an injection that would remove whatever powers the mutants had and make them like normal people.

We have often commented that some of our family’s quirks might be similar to a mutant power.  For instance, most of us have real issues with talking on the phone (hurray for text-messaging).  We also have several who seem to have food phobias for no apparent reason – if you haven’t tried the food, why should it hold terror (There are more but I don’t wish to expose all our laundry at this particular time).

Anyways, after the movie, Joel asked his Mom if she would want to have the shot that removed all her “mutant” powers or would she want to keep them.  It seems like a simple question – after all, aren't these things the source of many of our daily struggles?  Interestingly enough, both Teresa and Joel decided that there was some value in keeping the challenges and learning to work through the difficulties they caused.  When they asked my opinion, I answered in the same manner – these are MY quirks/mutations and I want them to stay with ME!!!

A few days later I was reading the book of 1 Peter in preparation for a lesson when I came across the following verse:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.  (1 Peter 1:7)

Peter felt much the same way about the challenges life presents to us in our mortal form.  We have been sent here to prove who and what we will become and the weakness of our mortal existence is paramount to our progression and improvement.  Moroni, speaking for the Savior, stated it this way:

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)

Notice that Moroni only mentioned weakness in the singular.  I believe that is because mortal life is the weakness we all enjoy together.  The various deficiencies that we encounter are the personal part of our adventure.

The whole Plan ofHappiness/Salvation is predicated on us becoming something more than we were when we arrived on this little ball of dirt.  One of Father’s ways to improve our chances is to allow us to have mortal failings that increase the likelihood of our effecting change (BTW, I’m not saying we choose or are chosen to have certain weaknesses – I believe nature, chance and environment have sway in those things).

Here’s an example from my own life.  

I have always struggled with controlling my anger when things don’t go the way I think they should.  Generally I am not a confrontational person so the anger isn't expressed verbally but most people can recognize when I’m a little ‘off.’  If a serum was invented that took away that part of my character, more folks might be inclined to enjoy my presence and the gentle nature of my soul (huge sarcasm here).  But that is not what that challenge is to accomplish.  My work is to learn how to keep those feelings in check, as best as possible, in order to invite others to like being in my presence (not factoring in all the OTHER reasons they might want to flee my personal space).

Why does a Father allow His children to go through all this? 

Because He loves us and wants what is best for our Eternal happiness.  None of these things are permanent – we will be resurrected in a perfect form – but they are here for our benefit and growth.  Being a mutant is part of what Heavenly Father determined would give all of us the best chance to grow and be strong.

While some things we suffer are difficult and even debilitating, every challenge is allowed by God because He knows we will be better for the experience.  It’s letting the weak things of our lives become our strength that gives us hope for a glorious life after this one.

WHAT A BOY!! (Sons again)

 Joel came to us as a delightful Christmas gift one year.  The hospital even put him in a little Santa stocking when we took him home.  

A recent fishing trip with Joel

He was also the caboose of our children!!

Some might think that would make him spoiled …… and I suppose he was/is to some extent.  But all our children have had their share of being pampered so I don’t think ----

------ Wait, I hear Melissa reminding me that Joel never had to endure the curfew rules she lived. 

Hold on, Josh just texted saying that he had to work at that dumb video factory so he could have spending money and Joel just got an allowance. 

Oh, Brian & Kevin said----

Well, you get the picture:  In the eyes of his siblings, Joel may have received a little more attention than they felt he merited.  But they were also complicit in whatever extra benefits he received because they loved him so much themselves.  So let’s forget about that part.

Pre-Mission, chubby cheeks

When our youngest came to live with us I was in the ‘death thralls’ of my time with a job I had worked for several years.  The company was downsizing and my position was eliminated with very little notice.  It was devastating to me and my ego (two different entities with lots of puffed-up-ness) and I struggled to find my place in life and in another job.

Lounging on our trip

Our baby son became my release for the stress I was enduring.  He and I would walk the neighborhood, go for rides in the car and run errands for mom so I could stay busy.  As he got older, Joel helped me with my work around the house, in the yard and on the car: he reaped the benefits of more patience for youthful mistakes (sorry you older kids). 

Now this young man has grown into --- well, a fine young man.  His parents are pleased with who he is becoming and we know he will be, in many ways, like his older siblings – a righteous, humble child of God. 

Thanks, Joel, for coming to live with our family.  We love having you here and hope you love being with us.

MAWAIGGE IS WHAT BWINGS US TOGEVER

Recently, our good friend Mitt Romney was the commencement speaker at Southern Virginia University.  His message, addressed to young people preparing to enter the world, was one of hope and counsel for the things they should do to make their lives exceptional.  Not surprisingly, many people of a more worldly persuasion took umbrage at his remarks.

The biggest stink came from advice he gave concerning marriage and the benefits therein.  And wouldn’t you know it; the strongest complaint came when Mitt had the audacity to encourage the graduates to not put off marriage while they pursued other activities of life (see here, here, and here and be sure to read comments at each).

(Sarcasm alert)It is, after all, much more responsible to seek after the pleasures of life while young and they settle down and begin to consider the more ‘adult’ activities that might be available – including creating a family. (Sarcasm complete)

Way back in 1999 the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued a proclamation concerning the family that has become one of the hallmarks of our religion.  A person who reads this document has no difficulty understanding what the Church believes when it comes to family and the relationships that are part of that great institution.  Those who follow the teachings of this document are promised peace, happiness and the power to overcome the evils of the world – pretty exceptional promises for such a simple message.

Mitt Romney, speaking to like-minded folks, outlined what he has found to be true because he has practiced the principles taught in the proclamation.  I agree with him because they have worked for me.  Those who disagree generally have no frame of reference to know whether or not the teachings work because they have chosen another path.  They are not necessarily bad people but they ARE people who do not understand because they have not tested the methods.  I think Jesus said it this way:

“If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” John 7:17

Pretty simple, actually!!  If you don’t understand or believe what is said, try it and look at the results.  The promise is made throughout the scriptures and has been one of the ways mankind has learned the truths of God and Christ.

I applaud Brother Romney for being frank and honest with young people who are still seeking after what they want to do in life.  Imagine how our country might be different if there was someone at the head who looked at more than the polls to determine what was right or wrong.  Kinda makes you think doesn’t it!!

CALIFORNIA SCREAMIN'

Last week my beautiful wife and I took a trip to California to visit her sister’s family.  They had a daughter going on a mission and we wanted to be there to wish her well.

It’s a long drive to Turlock, CA, but we had things planned out very well and budgeted to the penny (Teresa’s good that way).  Our first stop was to be in Winnemucca, NV but we got there early and decided to go one more town before we stopped.

If you have been to Lovelock, NV you will never forget the experience.  A small town with little to offer, they pride themselves on being the love capital of Nevada (or something like that). 

There was only one motel that was open (several were boarded up) so we took a room and …………… welllllllllll, it was interesting.  Not the best accommodations – and the proprietor kept asking if there was anything he could get us.  I was afraid to ask what he had to offer because he looked like one of those guys from the scary banjo music movie – can’t remember the name cause I’ve never seen it (ETA:Just remembered – Deliverance).

When it was time to retire for the night the following conversation ensued:

        Teresa: Would you go get the suitcase for us?

       Mike: Sure thing sweety?

Mike: (returning a few moments later) Where did you pack the suitcase?

       Teresa: I didn’t pack it, that’s your job.

Mike: Well, I had everything laid out on our bed, but I thought you were going to get it.

Teresa: I never take the suitcase out – I can’t get it down the stairs.

Mike: Oh, right, I knew that.  I think I messed up.

       Teresa: Are you saying we have no clothes or stuff?

       Mike: YEP!!

In another lifetime there would have been much abuse heaped upon me by me for making such a dumb move.   Time and experience have allowed me to take things like this in stride and find the humor in the events.  And Teresa was VERY forgiving!!!  We had a good laugh and chalked it up to experiences we will always remember.  It was hilarious except it totally ruined the budget. 

The trip was memorable and the company was grand (I love travelling with my favorite girl) so I hope we get to do it again real soon – without the forgotten baggage.

SONS -- AT LEAST ONE

When I wrote my blog about Melissa yesterday I didn’t pay attention to the date (as I get older those things have less importance).  It so happens that today – one day after commiserating about my only daughter – we celebrate the birth of our eldest son.  What better day to remember a little about the wonderful young man that our Josh was and has become.

As the first male child, Josh took the brunt of my ‘practice’ in learning to raise boys.  Of course, we played a lot of ball (he loved anything round) and did many ‘boy’ things but he also had to endure some of my own growing up – including some unreasonable expectations.  I am forever grateful that he was patient enough to realize that dad wasn’t perfect but could still be a fun addition to life.

In many ways, fathers live through their sons.  Not necessarily in terms of getting them to do what they couldn’t but more in hoping that they will be better.  In this desire, I was most pleasantly rewarded.  Josh is many things I could never be and has conquered spectacular mountains in his thirty-three years.  Today he continues to be amazing and it is with pride (unrighteous or righteous, you pick) that I call him my son. 

And like his sister, Josh has chosen well in a mate.  Heather complements our boy in so many ways – it’s almost like we got to choose her ourselves (you know, that old arranged marriage thing).  Together they have created a family that makes us happy and gives us great hope for the future of the world and our family in particular.

Maybe it’s because I am male, but when Josh left home, there was much less angst in our home and for me personally.  I suppose part of the reason is because I know how his circumstances feel (and I didn’t for Melissa).  But I also think that there is a protective nature with girls that isn’t as prevalent with boys.  But the love is just as abundant and I will forever be grateful for the fine son who came to lead the boys of our family in righteousness.

Happy Birthday Josh – from your loving father and mother.

DAUGHTER(S)

There is only one daughter in our family so, as a dad, I didn't get extensive training in that arena.  While we suffered through many of the traumas brought on by the teen years, the truth is we were very blessed when it came to our little girl.

Growing up, Melissa was attached to her dad – probably like many other young girls are to their fathers.  But I sort of got used to being the “alpha-male” in her life and relished the good relationship we had.  Even when she started dating, there was a sense that no one could really measure up to her daddy.

Then along came that dreaded BOY!!! 

He was on probation but after 10 yrs we let him stay.

Oh, I knew the day was coming but it was still a big shock when it happened.  All of a sudden dad was in the background and my baby girl was off with some strange guy starting a life without me.  The change was difficult but eventually I accepted my diminished role and made-do with what little was left.

Melissa and her clan

Fourteen years later (or thereabouts) I seldom think about what used to be but there is still a place where I miss the quiet times we used to have just sitting and talking about things together.  She has someone else who deserves her attention and I am happy that he is so good to her.  And those six little angels – well, let’s say that they are a great bonus and are worth all the sacrifice made.  Yet, I do miss how things used to be. 

 

The oddness of being Whitmer (now DeMoux)

Maybe that is a little like how Heavenly Father feels when we go off and get busy in our lives.  If so, I have a small taste of what that may be like (though I don’t accuse Missy of forgetting me).  God bless my little girl and her wonderful family.  And thanks be to our Father for the good man she married who keeps her happy, healthy and fed.  I love them both. 

On another day I will opine about my boys and how that has gone.  It is very different.

SHOCKING

Last night Teresa and I were in the temple for our regular evening of service.  Normally temple workers (at least in our temple) are in groups of three when involved in ordinance work.  One of Teresa’s ladies was ill so a sub was brought in to fill the group.  She was a pleasant British lady with a cute smile and lots of things to say (which is good for Teresa cause she likes to listen). 

In the course of the evening the sister stated that her husband had died a few years ago and she was struggling with being single again.  Feeling some sympathy for the sister, Teresa asked her, “was it hard having him die … was it a shock when he left you?” 

Cue in a very unusual response!!

This delightful, dedicated temple worker began to laugh.

My poor little wifey was very bamboozled and did not know how to respond.  Was this woman so distraught at the mention of her husband’s passing that she had gone insane? 

After a moment the lady stopped and cleared up any concerns that might have arisen.  She said:

I was very sorry to lose my husband but your question was so fitting.  You see, my husband was electrocuted and died from the SHOCK!!

What are the chances of using the exact word that caused the demise of the man she loved?  And how do you get out of something like this without making it worse?

If Teresa’s friend was the sensitive type, she might have been offended by a simple question, stated in a polite but unknowingly inappropriate way.  And sadly, there are many people in the world that would take you to task for making such a mistake.  Political correctness has bred into our society a feeling of entitlement to be free from any uncomfortable circumstances, no matter how innocent they may be.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks made mention of the trend for PC in our lives in his most recent conference talk here.  As I look back in my life, I recognize MANY times when I have misspoken and felt embarrassed for my tongue’s freedom.  O, to have a “WABAC Machine” to fix all the foibles of my past.  

PARTY NERDS

Our grandson, Matt, had a birthday last week (number 5) and his mother asked him what kind of activities he would like to have at his party.  Most boys might say “let’s shoot hoops’” or “I want to go swimming.” But Matt is not most boys -- he told his mom that he wanted to do science experiments.

Everyone put on your safety glasses!

And Heather was delirious!!!

You see, she is a big science geek and loves to talk about molecules and atoms and diseases and stuff (after all, She does have a degree in microbiology). 

So, here are some pictures of the kids doing their “experiments” for the party.

More girls than boys

#1 – The professor took her Erlenmeyer Flask (she was so excited to get one – I had no idea what she was talking about) and put some flame in the bottom.  Then she set a boiled egg on the mouth and waited while the atmospheric pressure changed and sucked in the egg (we used to do the same with milk bottles… not in existence anymore).  The kids were pretty startled—partly because of the popping sound and partly because half the egg stayed out of the flask.

All in awe of science

#2 – Heather put vinegar in the bottom of a bottle and then attached a balloon with bicarbonate of soda inside. (I chuckled when Heather began explaining to the youngsters the difference between an acid and a base and how when they are mixed a reaction occurs which creates a new gas… they all had this blank look but nodded OK).  The kids lifted up the balloon and were amazed when it began to fill with the carbon dioxide.

Some of the materials

#3 – Using Elmer’s glue, a concoction called GAK was made from water, glue and borax.  It was slimy but malleable – sort of like PlayDoh but smooth.

Everyone got their own pair of safety glasses and no one got hurt (nor did any of the objects used).

I was kinda jealous of the whole day, wondering why my mom never gave me a party like that.  My brothers and I had to figure all these things out while no one was home – and sometimes the results were not nearly so pleasant. (I was going to share a few but I don’t want to be responsible for what might happen to other people’s homes if their kids try what we tried.  Just know that many involved fire and some flammable liquid.)

Matt was ecstatic and will probably want more – should be interesting at that Whitmer house in the next few years.

SAY WHAT!!

General Conference was great.  Lots of wonderful messages from people who have our best interest at heart.  I will probably write a bigger review in a day or two but I wanted to show the dissenting opinion.

Take a moment and read this to see what the other side believes about families and such.  Simply stunning what some people can come up with to defy the teachings of God. 

See you in a day or two.

I AM BUT A LAD

Once a week my sweet wife and I trundle south a few miles and spend several hours working in the Jordan River Temple.  It is one of the highlights of our week because we love the Spirit there and the opportunity to work for the salvation of those who have passed to the Spirit world. 

 

Jordan River Temple -- Home away from Home

But I have another reason for liking my Wednesday nights.  You see, most of the folks who work at the temple are older – not necessarily elderly – just older than the average person.  And most are   OLDER THAN I AM!!!

During the week my job has me associating with YOUNG people.  My students are between 14 and 18 and the other teachers in my building are well behind me in years.  In other words, I am the OLD distinguished guy where I work.

So when I go to the temple, I’m one of the YOUNG guys and I can make fun tease the old codgers’ gentlemen on my shift.  Yippee for us young fellows.

I’m reminded of a statement Enoch made when God called him to preach to the people of his day:

          Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, and am but a lad…? (Moses 6:31)

If you look on the previous page you see that Enoch was 65 years old when this calling came.  And he considered himself a lad!!!  Maybe we have this age thing all backwards. 

Or maybe not!!! At least that’s what my body says.