WORDS

Passing on two items that I found interesting.

Both have their place.

Both are filled with words.

One will help you get better spiritually.

The other will help you feel better physically (humor).

The first is a quote from Elder Charles Didier of the 70 (emeritus). It is surprisingly similar to my recent diatribe on patterns.

He said:

Unfortunately, there are those who gain testimonies and then deny them and lose them. How does this happen? If you follow the steps to obtain a testimony, you do exactly the opposite to deny it or lose it. Do not pray; the door to revelation will be closed. Do not be humble but listen to your own superior voice. Do not participate in the ordinances of the gospel but follow the practices of the world. Do not follow Church leaders but be critical of them. Do not listen to prophets and follow their counsel but interpret their declarations according to your own desires. Do not obey the commandments but live according to your own appetites and desires. (CR, April 1991)

This pattern IS given for example only.  Testing or usage of this pattern will result in nothing good.

The second has made the rounds on the Internet for decades but is still mostly current.

Have fun and smile!! J

CANDIDATE FOR A PULLET SURPRISE

I have a spelling checker.

It came with my PC.

It plane lee marks four my revue

Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,

Your sure reel glad two no.

Its vary polished inn it's weigh.

My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,

It freeze yew lodes of thyme.

It helps me right awl stiles two reed,

And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen

Eye trussed too bee a joule.

The checker pours o'er every word

To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checkers

Hour spelling mite decline,

And if we're lacks oar have a laps,

We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling

Is checked with such grate flare,

Their are know faults with in my cite,

Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,

It does knot bring a tier.

My pay purrs awl due glad den

With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet

Of witch won should bee proud,

And wee mussed dew the best wee can,

Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays

Such soft wear four pea seas,

And why eye brake in two averse

Buy righting want too pleas.

Jerry Zar, 29 June 1992

Jerrold H. Zar

Graduate School

Northern Illinois University

DeKalb, IL 60115

jhzar@niu.edu

(Current mailing address: Department of Biological Sciences, same university)

The above poem passes spell cheque but is full of suggestions for grammar and style.  Readers are not encouraged to use this method to write anything of value. 

This blog is not responsible for those who cannot get the humor of the posting.