Nope, this is not an invitation to watch an episode of some slimy TV show. This is about what it’s like to be alone when you’re used to having someone around.
For the past month (or so) Teresa’s mother has been fading off into the sunset of life (she did finally leave us on the 10th of April – more on that later). And, since she (Teresa) is free from other restrictions (hooray, no daycare), she has been going down to be with her dad as he waits the final passing and to help with the arrangement for the funeral. I am very grateful that she has this opportunity to be of service to a really good man and a wonderful father.
But, one side effect of Teresa’s good works is that I have been alone much more than I particularly like or than I am used to.
Now, it’s not like I can’t take care of myself.
I haven’t starved.
I can wash dishes and clothing.
I can even make my own bed (when I want to).
It’s just that I’m so used to coming home and finding my best friend and sweetheart there and now I come home to a dark and lonely house.
It’s very weird!!
I don’t like it!!
It reminds me that I have a better than good life and an even better than better wife. She is more of my universe than maybe I have been willing to recognize.
So what do I do to cope?
I am becoming very adept at sending little messages via text.
Just tiny thoughts that remind her how much she is missed.
And I do it a lot.
Probably drives her crazy – though she would never admit it.
But it helps me stay sane.
I also find that if I make a list of projects, I tend to mope less about the circumstances. So I work and stay busy.
And I have found that if I go visit the kids on my own, life becomes much more bearable.
My point in all this??
I have determined that when it comes time for us to leave this mortal sphere –
I’m going first!!
Ummm, but that means I will be in a new environment and feeling really out of place and there won’t be anyone there for support.
So, maybe I’m going second so she can have things ready when I get there?!!!
Yeah, but then I’m left here by myself and no hope for relief.
Dang, maybe we just better make sure we go together so we don’t have any issues when we get there.
This is all so hard.
Well, I suppose we will figure it out.
Or someone will!!
But the truth is, I really DON’T like being a bachelor and I’m so glad these circumstances are only temporary.
And that’s the truth!!